6 Another Gay Movie (2006)
Never forget: TV chat show host Graham Norton once played a dildo-and-harness-wearing male dominatrix called Mr Puckov in American Pie parody Another Gay Movie. While that scene, like most of the film, is played for cheap laughs, there’s one climactic scene (literally) that takes a genuinely sexy turn at the end of the film.
It occurs when Andy, one of the core four characters desperate to lose his ‘anal virginity’, achieves this twice over during a raucous, hair-pulling threeway. We’d score it 10/10, were it not for the lassoing hand movements and the cringe-inducing dialogue… (‘heavens to Betsy!’).
Sexiness score: 6.5/10
5 King Cobra (2016)
Where to start with King Cobra? This biopic of gay porn actor Brent Corrigan (whose life the film ‘bastardized‘, he said) has enough thunderous, sinewy sex scenes to fill this entire list. But most of them are also utterly, laughably stupid.
In fact, the depictions of real sex are often more silly than the depictions of porn shoots. (Step forward James Franco’s porno director screaming for his boyfriend to ‘GIVE ME THAT BIG DICK!’). As such, a panting Garrett Clayton is particularly smouldering in an early montage showing him finding his footing in porn, soundtracked by the Scissor Sisters’ spirited classic Filthy/Gorgeous.
Sexiness score: 7/10
4 Looking: The Movie (2017)
In Looking For Now, the first episode of the first season of this seminal HBO drama, main character Patrick shows all the sex appeal of a wet lettuce. We watch as Jonathan Groff’s San Francisco-residing, saucer-eyed video game designer fumbles his way through an awkward encounter with another man in some bush.
Numerous hook ups, two relationships and one affair later, Patrick evolves into a different being. In Looking: The Movie, the show’s feature length swan song after it was criminally cancelled after two seasons, our main man shows off his rimming skills with such conviction that confidence radiates from the screen. It’s so obvious Jonathan Groff’s amazing in bed, isn’t it? Sigh.
Sexiness score: 8.10
3 God’s Own Country (2017)
When the dam of sexual tension finally breaks in 2017’s Call Me By Your Name, the camera suspiciously trails out of the window before the action even starts. Why? To make the movie palatable to straight audiences and awards voters, critics claimed.
Conversely, in the excellent God’s Own Country – a somewhat similarly-themed movie that came out around the same time, but didn’t receive nearly as much attention – the camera is agog with fascination during the sex scenes.
Indeed, when our straight-presenting protagonists Gheorgie and Johnny finally give into their unquenchable thirst for each other, the resulting sex is blunt, powerful and shocking. And yet, it’s filmed with enough dexterity that arguably all you’re witnessing is a spot of extreme heavy petting.
The only thing unsexy about the scene is the setting: the outer reaches of a neglected farm next to some sheep. (Well, they are farmers). It’s a rough, gruelling watch: you can almost feel the damp in the air and the biting cold, as Gheorgie’s long johns start to fall down, and he leaves a muddy handprint on Johnny’s backside… Actually, scrap that, we’d like to give it a try.
Sexiness score: 8.5/10
2 Stranger By the Lake (2014)
In God’s Own Country, the viewer’s face is pushed up against the camera lens. In French arthouse flick Stranger By the Lake, it’s pushed through – albeit with a gentle, deadly caress. Spoiler alert: this movie shows explicit sex, so might not be one to watch with the parents.
Indeed, while there are yet more outdoor shenanigans in Stranger, here, the nudity (plus the erections, ejaculations and blow jobs) are decidedly more sun-dappled.
Stranger tells the story of the sweeping sexual affair that takes place between two Frenchmen at a lakeside cruising spot one summer. The setting is stunning, the men are ridiculously hot, and the tension is unbearable. It would be aspirational, were it not for the fact that one of them’s a cold-blooded killer.
All of the sex looks amazing, but I’m deducting a fraction of a point because it’s all a little too, well photogenic for me. And I’m sorry, but nobody has sex this pleasurable-looking on dead grass or pebbles. Trust me, I grew up in the country.
Sexiness score: 9.5/10
1 Weekend (2011)
Here it is: the joyous, romantic and still totally sexy apex of gay sex on film.
In the critically-acclaimed Weekend, Tom Cullen and Chris New play Russell and Glen, two lost souls with kind hearts and handsome faces who fall for each other over a weekend in Russell’s dingy flat atop a Nottingham housing block.
Although the guys meet in a trashy gay bar on a Friday evening, the film wisely passes over their drunken first time together later that night.
We are privy, however, to the lazy, groaning sex they have the following afternoon, shortly after a stoned Glen’s gone to work on a piece of confectionary. (Can somebody please tell me: is that a McVitie’s Penguin he’s eating?! For some reason, I’m dying to know!).
In an earlier scene, artist Glen – who records interviews with his hook ups – bemoans compromising his work for ‘the straights’. Director Andrew Haigh, who’s since directed the Oscar nominated 45 Years (not to mention Looking: The Movie!), makes no such allowances. He shows all the sweat, tears and semen needed to make this love affair between two men feel truly convincing.
Sexiness score: 10/10
- 6 Super Hot Guy-On-Guy Gay Sex Scenes In Modern Movies, Ranked (NSFW), Gay Star News, 6 October 2018, by Jamie Tabberer https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/famous-guy-on-guy-gay-sex-scenes-in-movies-ranked/#gs.4iuf9l